Relationships

Not sure why it’s so difficult to date in Florida! Some men are so undecided about what they really want, and I guess having so many women for one man might not be a helper either. It’s not difficult for me to meet a man, but becomes a challenge when you don’t think that you’ll meet him at neither a bar nor a club. I’ve been successful at playing matchmaker by setting up my friends, but can’t seem to find a good match for myself. I was way more selective before, not that I would want to lower my standards, as I believe that lowering your standards leads to a total failure…I’ve even tried dating online, it does work for some I must say, but seriously the lies that some people will post on there is totally ridiculous, and why would you post old pictures of yourself is beyond me?    

 I could definitely write a book on this topic “Dating online”,  I would ask men why would you post an old picture of yourself; their comments will be man don’t  take pictures of themselves, therefore if we were in previous relationships, we just crop the ex out of the picture and we use that pic to post on our profile. I mean seriously so you will post a picture of yourself although a few years old, because you don’t want to take new pictures, hmmm you might want to take the time to post some current picture on your profile.  This section is mostly for any men who are actually doing the dating online, by not putting current pictures on your profile, and not looking anything close to it when you actually meet someone that is considered as a lie. Also why are you posting pictures of exes, or any other girls in the pictures, that doesn’t look good to a girl at all, on the contrary it sends the wrong message as you are a player, or just looking to get some action even though you may state otherwise in the content of your profile. 

My favorite section of the questionnaire ask to answer simple questions, which one of them requires a Yes or No answer but yet some men I guess can’t seem to use either one of those answers. Instead when the specific question state “Do you want / more children?” their responses are “Prefer not to say”, or “Undecided/Open”. I find those answers so lame it’s either you want to Yes, or No you don’t want any. I tell you some of those people need many dating advice, why would you put I love to kiss, cuddle etc…Newsflash for you those things usually happen between a man and a woman when they get involve,  therefore no need to mention it. Going back on pictures posting, this is not a model site where you need to show your abs, or body parts, so put on a shirt or cover up that’s really unnecessary.

 

 

7 responses to “Relationships

  1. Pingback: Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First « onlinedatingparadiso

  2. Pingback: A Man’s Secrets to Successful Online Dating « onlinedatingparadiso

  3. I don’t think the problem is Florida, or online dating. I will say most times as a single man when I looked for guys online I ran into the same issues you are having, because its easy for people to take time to make up things about themselves. They figure once you meet them you won’t care that they look like goblins or they lied about being married. The truth is that most people in general are looking to have a good time and if you want to find someone worth caring for.. you just have lean back and not try so hard. I think that the best matches are created when your having fun with friends or yourself and just enjoy the things you love to do. Don’t stress about finding someone and that someone will come to you if the timing is right. I would also never lower your standards since they are important and the core of who you are. xoxo You are amazing and you will find someone just like you one day. I guarantee it.

    • I like the way you phrased this, “you just have lean back and not try so hard. I think that the best matches are created when your having fun with friends or yourself and just enjoy the things you love to do. Don’t stress about finding someone and that someone will come to you if the timing is right”

      If you stress so much about a laundry list of things that you must find in a companion and you focus on these silly dating sites then you will miss the great guys that come out of no where and actually like you for who you are.

  4. I think South Florida (to reduce the demographic of Florida) is difficult to date in general. If you are not from South Florida or didn’t studied from elementary to high school and have old friends it will be tough to meet someone in South Florida. Socially is a challenge. For some reason there is a lack of trust. After 10 years living in South Florida I never met my neighbor! This is uncommon up North! To make it worse Social Networks are eliminating human interaction! So who do we have left in Social Events? Outsider with Summer homes in South Florida or Tourist! But what about the Regular Joe Doe’s or Jane Dane’s who are the hard working back breaking trying to make a living in South Florida? Well as you know South Florida is all about the image. For men if you are good looking, wealthy and have a nice car you’ll be able to make it, for woman? It’s an uphill battle to stand out! In my opinion South Floridians are SOL because local people are just not going out! This could be again because of the Social Network, lack of trust, the economy, and others. But there is hope. Websites like MeetUp . c o m promotes human interaction, it’s not a dating website, there are no expectations, it’s people like you and me who shares common interest like biking, rafting, Yoga Class and many others! Sharing common interest eliminates being shy, the lack of trust, eliminates expectations, it also eliminates having a computer in front of you!!! Go out, have fun and meet people with no expectations!!! There will be someone out there!!!

    As far as Dating Online I was honest with pictures and descriptions in my profile and guess? It didn’t work for me!!! I had more success getting people to know me than using a dating website. In Match and eHarmony it’s all about image. A profile can’t talk to you, a profile is not human interaction. This is why these guys lie in their profile or put an old picture of themselves!! I’m not saying all profiles in Match or eHarmony are not 100% honest but it lacks of human nature 6th sense when meeting a person. Profiles are like job interviews, people say they are the “Mother of Tarzan” when selling themselves for the job. Once they get the job months later the manager noticed how lazy and unproductive the person is, just like screening the person’s profile and becoming disappointed after you meet them in person…

  5. It sounds like you do not understand men at all and you are pissed about it. There are 100’s of psychology books out there and they all say the same thing. Men think differently then women. So stop trying to apply your logic to them. Men do not approach the parenting topic in the same fashion as women. Men do not have the same biological clock that says YOU MUST HAVE KIDS NOW! Men commonly approach it this way, in very simplistic terms.

    1) Find compatible partner 2) Fall in love 3) Have children

    So in other words, the male will focus entirely on a short-term goal of finding someone that he feels comfortable and happy with. He will not make up his mind about the other steps until the first is complete. Then he will open himself up to commitment, which is a difficult process for most men. Once in a commitment where he feels secure he will consider the next step. Commonly the male will rationalize becoming a parent in the following manner. #1- My age has does not afford me the luxury of having any more partners #2 – I love my current partner so much I will give her children as a sign of my commitment. #3 – The natural progression now is to create and provide for a family as my father did.

    Men tend to be short-term goal oriented so don’t expect a man to jump straight to, YES I want kids. If a man is straight-out dead set on having kids and this is a priority he communicates to you first, then some may consider him damaged. Statistically he would be the male that was either parentless/orphaned or suffered significant loss of family. So he has now shifted his goals to compensate.

    So don’t be turned off if a suitable male in the dating world does not advertise that he wants children. A lot of men consider finding a compatible mate a higher priorty (you cant have one without the other) so they will try to remain flexible about the children question so as not to lose out on a possible partner match. Statisically men are more flexible about having children as a life goal. Men also understand
    that if it does not work out with this partner then I can still have children with someone else. Men know they can create offspring into their 60s if necessary (this is always in their subconscious)

    What you commonly will see is that men are defensive or shifting when it comes to their stance on children. Once they feel more comfortable around you they will open up and let you know the level of their flexibility. For men these types of choices are just that. Choices. Which they consider negotiating points when trying to find a match.

    Now of course all of this shifts as the male ages. His biological clock is not for bearing children but for “settling down” or his fading ability to play the field. The is often attributed to the old cliche of his DNA being programmed to propagate his species as much as possible.

    • I thank you for your summary about how men are, and I will be one to admit that although I’ve read several books on that matter; yet it’s still confusing and not so easy to apply at times. I will add that after reading what and how you described men, it couldn’t be clearer.

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